Corps Stories Innovators S1E6 - Marine Spouse Elizabeth Peace

Corps Stories Innovators Season 1 Episode 6: Elizabeth Peace - Advocate, Entrepreneur, Marine Spouse

YouTube version of this episode: https://youtu.be/oZfwG_0FG_s

Operation Innocence: https://www.operationinnocence.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/OperationInnocence.org/

US of A Pageants: https://usofa.org/

Transcript

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   Hey everybody. This episode is about Elizabeth peace, who is the wife, a Marine, and together with him, they have developed an intervention under the organizational name of nonprofit operation in a sense which seeks to. Provide a very simple and effective training to prevent child sex abuse in the community.

And in this case on military basis, I love her. Everyone loves her. She is also stunningly beautiful and looks about half her age. And she uses this gift, in the field of pageantry. And this gives her a beautiful platform to discuss her passion for this subject. And while the events that led to this are described, I need listeners to know there is nothing explicit or.

Traumatic described here in this is a safe podcast. Everybody needs to know that I would never expose my listeners to anything that would make them feel worse at the end of the podcast than they did at the beginning. The whole point of course, stories and core stories, innovators, and any other. Effort Merryweather ball and her board of directors makes is to inspire us to a better place in life.

Elizabeth peace does just that. So take a few minutes, get to know her and hit subscribe. Of course. And I'll catch you on the backside.   

Elizabeth: [00:02:09] hi, how are you? 

Meriwether: [00:02:11] I'm happy to see you. 

Elizabeth: [00:02:12] You too.  

Meriwether: [00:02:13] It is so good. Thank you. And I, so I really have been looking forward to discussing  Innocence  with you because  as I had shared with you, previously my board of directors are retired Marines who spent a lot of time on Marine Corps  bases  and they were very, touched by project.

So I would love it. If you could tell the story. yeah. Of how it came to be. And also describe in that the support of your Marine husband. 

Elizabeth: [00:02:47] Absolutely. just so that the listeners know a little bit about me, I am, I was in the air force a very, very long time ago, a lifetime ago. And I served just a little while before I became a mom. And so I got out, but my husband is active duty.

He's a gunnery Sergeant in the Marine Corps stationed at camp Pendleton. And I worked for the Navy up in the Norco California area. So I work as a civilian now for the Navy. But on the side, separate from all of our military affiliation. So I would like to, to throw that disclaimer in there that what my husband and I do on the side for the military is separate from our jobs and.

You know, not trying to speak on behalf of the Navy or the Marine Corps, the DOD of course, but, a little bit of background on operation innocence and why we do what we do several years ago before I met my husband. And after my, a very difficult divorce, my youngest son, and I shared the story with his permission.

He's significantly older than that now, but my youngest son was. Coming home from visitations with some very disturbing behavior and a lot of medical conditions that we could not identify their wishes. There was a lot going on and I was taking him to the doctor and I would take him from one, visit one specialist to the next, and we could not figure out exactly where it was coming from.

So after several, several months of this, I decided that I was going, going to take him to a specialist at the children's hospital at Utah, Utah university or university of Utah, excuse me. And we made an appointment and I drove to Utah. I was living in Idaho, working as a news anchor at the time, drove to Utah.

My ex husband lived in Utah and I let him know I am taking our son to the specialist. I can't. I don't know what's wrong, we can't figure it out. And it was in that moment that my ex husband finally told me something that he'd known and I don't know how long he knew, but my son was being sexually abused during these visitations, which now knowing what I know, I can look back and I can say, wow, that match every single, You know, just everything we know all the red flags that we know all the symptoms that we know about child sexual abuse, but you don't know that because they can be mistaken for so many of the medical conditions.

You don't always know exactly that that's what it is. And that that's what you're supposed to be looking for. I didn't know. And as a survivor of child sexual abuse myself, I would have thought that I would have known that, that, that that's what this is. And then I needed to do something about it. But I didn't know what, what was extremely difficult about the whole thing is that my ex husband was in the army that he knew that this was happening.

And his response to me was, I don't want to report it because I don't want the offender to get in trouble. I will investigate this on my own and I will handle it. Okay. That's not, that's not my personality. And I'm really, I'm honestly a little bit surprised he thought that I would go along with that.

Okay. Also just, I think another difficult part about the whole whole, the whole thing was that when he told me all of this, my son was in the room. And what I noticed, one thing that I really picked up on was that as my ex husband is, is telling me this for the first time. What I was doing out of the corner, man, I was watching my son and he had gotten very quiet and he was still pretending to be playing with his toys in his trucks and his cars, but he was listening and he was waiting for my reaction.

Meriwether: [00:06:39] Of course he was. Yep. 

Elizabeth: [00:06:41] And so I stayed very calm and I said, we need to continue this conversation at another time. I need more information. But I'm taking him to the doctor appointment tomorrow. 

Meriwether: [00:06:53] Good, good, good. Let me stop you there because, I really want to validate that. I can't imagine how, what a, you turn that must've been for your mission to help solve this problem for your child.

Here. You are thinking that it's. Somehow related to medicine somehow related to something, biological, something. And then you learn of a tremendous violation and trauma and, and that the person who is his own father, who should have been protecting him, had not been. So I can't imagine that shift in your, the needed shift in your attention, but also just the shock of the change in priorities and change and focus.

Must've been for you much less for your child. I can't. Yeah. 

Elizabeth: [00:07:54] That moment started years of, of battles. It got what, what was happening to my son? W I was able to put a stop to that right away, as soon as I found out by just simply not letting the visitation continue. Of course, that that was a big court battle also.

But. But there was so much, there was so much more that happens. And, and that is why so many children don't tell is because of what happened next. I mean, it's such a, a classic tale of here is why children and survivors don't want to report because what happened next was a lot of attorneys. Going to medical professionals going to, you know, the being interviewed by specialists and police, you know, with, with cameras on and, and having to talk repeatedly.

I, the. The, children's I think, I can't quite remember what it's called in Utah, but basically child protective services. Yes. When I called them the next day, they said we can't take your report because your son hasn't told you, we need your son to tell you, you and. As a, as a journalist, I knew that the more that you make children talk about this, right?

The harder it can be and the worse it can be. And, and you don't want to ask leading questions. And so I had child protective services saying, we can't take your report unless he tells you, Oh, it was bad. I had a police officer in Utah say, I'm sorry, this happened to your son. And you're going to be very angry to hear this, but the abuse wasn't bad enough.

And so there, and the offender was a child and a much older child, but it's still a minor. And that offenders parents wouldn't cop cooperate. So Utah police told me we can't, there's nothing we can do. Hold on man. The army told me there was nothing that they could do, even though it was happening to my ex husband's home.

Even though you taught is a mandatory reporting state where every adult should be held accountable, if they don't report child sexual abuse. Yes. The army said there's nothing we can do. So it just, it was just one roadblock after another. And then the judge said your ex husband didn't sexually abuse your child.

So I can't stop the visitation. Even though my ex husband allowed me to fender to be alone with my child, even after he found out about the sexual abuse. So it was just one nightmare after another. And we've finally got to a point where I hired a lawyer and took my ex husband to civil court to prevent the visitations.

Good. And my son started coming home and this is where I say the classic reason that children don't tell because once he told. And still had to go on these visitations. He started coming home with bruises. Of course, he started coming home with marks on his body. He started coming home and he was, he was four when it started.

And five, when the visitation, when I finally got a restraining order for the visitations, but he started coming home saying, dad, mom says the bad guy's going to kill you. Dad mom says that I wasn't supposed to tell you that it's my fault that this is happening. And then my son started talking at the age of five, started talking about how he was going to commit suicide and how he was going to do it.

That's fine. So, and all of that, because he told one person what was happening to him and that sparked all of these adults getting involved. And only I look back and I can say there were three adults in his life that were four, four adults in his life that actually helped him in the rest. It felt like to him, they were working against him.

He had a phenomenal therapist, a lawyer that I paid a lot of money and myself and my now husband, every other adults very much worked against him. And at the age of five, he felt that what was happening to him in the aftermath was worse than he would have rather not told about the abuse. He would have rather continue to be abused or die.

It was, those were in his mind, those were his options. So it took, it took several years. And we were able to, at the very least get the restraining order against my ex husband. And he has not seen him since he was five. And as I said, he's, he's quite a bit older now and he's been, and he's doing really well.

He's, he's definitely, we got him into therapy as quickly as I found out, but it's sparked a, a real shift for me in that. How could I have prevented this in the first place? How could I have known, could I have done? And that was when I finally found a program that actually teaches, teaches child sexual abuse prevention.

And my goal is, is if I can get that into every military community and get every military parent or adult to take this course, because right now child sexual abuse prevention is not a mandatory training in the military. If I can get that in there, then we could save so many children because it was a program I didn't know about until it was too late.

And I don't want it to be too late for anyone else. 

Meriwether: [00:13:09] So let me ask you before we unpack that if you had had. If your husband, your ex husband, the father of this job had had that training had been required to have that training as a parent, living on a military installation, would it have prevented what had happened to your son?

Elizabeth: [00:13:34] so for, for my ex husband, I don't know that there is anything he would have done differently, knowing all the things that I know about him now, now, and right. And, and I can tell you that through our marriage, he was, he was, he's always been as I've known him. And I shouldn't say always, he was great.

When I met him, 

he 

Meriwether: [00:13:56] was 

Elizabeth: [00:13:57] a wonderful guy when I met him. And once, once I got married and I got pregnant, I discovered he was not, he was not such a great guy. And he was abusive. But I had the thought process that, well, just because he's abusive to me does not mean he'll be abusive to his child. You do right.

You would do anything for his child. I think the training would have helped me to understand that's not true. I think I would have fought more and not let him have so much visitation as much as he had because of his abusive behavior in the past. Yes, I think I would have understood the warning signs and I would have seen them for what they were faster.

So I can't say it would have prevented it for my son, but it may have helped me to ensure he was not in situations that I didn't know were dangerous, but they ended up being dangerous. 

Meriwether: [00:14:52] Let me ask you. Okay. So. I like you believe that when a person who harms children, that is a character flaw, that really can't be improved.

That's just my, I think it can't be fixed. 

Elizabeth: [00:15:07] Correct. 

Meriwether: [00:15:08] But we're there upon reflection. Any cursory adults in the scene and the environment in the proximity of your child when he was on these visits, who had they had such training because it was mandatory, may have intervened. 

Elizabeth: [00:15:27] Yes. Yes. I think not only all of his leadership in the military would have as fun, rude have responded more appropriately, but the one person.

That I think would have been able to help faster who knew what was happening was the babysitter. Yes. And she was the one that she was the first one to know that he was being sexually abused. And instead of telling the police, she told my ex husband, well, I think, and she, I say babysitter, she was a 30 something year old mother herself.

So I think she would have seen those warning signs. I think she would have intervened and I think she would have responded appropriately. Had she known? I, 

Meriwether: [00:16:14] I imagine that, she really truly had the best intentions at that time because that couldn't have been an easy conversation, but, Again, perhaps subsequently she could have done things differently, but, nice cases there, like you say, there are many who carry the burden of guilt here, the court that the, the child protective services, the police, so.

Sadly in my own experience. And also in my experience as a court appointed special advocate for children, which is a volunteer program throughout. The entire country where I'm a Casa is assigned to a judge, not to a lawyer or guardians ad litem or department of social services or any of those players.

They're assigned only to the judge. And the judge gives them a case like this one to investigate for custody and visitation. And they only answer to the judge. And in my role that way, I learned a lot of what you were describing. Happens every single day. And I want to also validate what you had described about the trauma to your child in the 

disclosure.

And this, is a factor. I think that courts try to mitigate, and some cases they. At one point, they forced children in the courtroom to testify against their abuser. and when that couldn't happen, they had to drop charges. So I really value what, and I want to validate it, but I almost want to say it's common that these children, even though they're very young, It doesn't intercept that the level of their intellect and their ability to perceive.

So I think many children feel that I'm seeking a resolution to this from the grownups is not necessarily fruitful. And most of the time they're right. At least. Historically. So I have, I really value this, concept of, prior education for, these, these people on the military base. But like, like you say, it shouldn't just be for parents.

It should be perhaps for everyone. so if you could talk a little bit about the, the training. 

Elizabeth: [00:18:50] Yeah, absolutely. So we partner with darkness to light, which is a national nonprofit. Oh, actually they're international now. And darkness light has the only evidence based training for adults. They also work with them Monique Burr foundation, which has evidence-based training for children so that they can have a full approach.

But darkness to light is primarily focused on if we can train adults. Then we can teach them the warning signs and we can teach them the prevention steps to protecting children from child sexual abuse. And then with operation innocence, our goal is to bring that training into military communities because I started working with darkness to light about seven, eight years ago.

And in the beginning I just thought, okay, okay. What can I do in the States that we lived in specifically Idaho in Utah, as a journalist, I was seeing, I was doing stories about child. Sex offenders. And they were getting, you know, these probations, they were, you know, they, they weren't actually, there was no justice for the children.

And I had prosecutors telling me that they were, there was a, I hide in Jekyll. I can't remember. Yes, doctor and mr. But they were telling me that that's what they were seeing from sex offenders, that in, in the treatment, the three month treatment program, which I, it blows my mind. Anybody really, truly thinks that treatment for child sexual abuse.

Works on offenders, but that's here under there. I have my, I have my very big opinion on that, but that in the treatments that they were seeing one side of this person, and then they'd go on probation and they'd get released. And they go back into the community after just three months and they were seeing a completely different person and I'm like, Yes, because having been married to an abuser, I can tell you that that's very common that the society or even us in the beginning, when we meet the abuser, they're phenomenal, they're charismatic.

They're really great people. But then behind closed doors, you see this other side of them. That's actually the true side of them. And that's what we were seeing with these offenders in Idaho was just. Not even putting them in prison. They were just constantly giving them probation three months of treatment and then, and an out, they go, you know, back in the community in Utah, wasn't wasn't any better.

And in fact, in Utah, we couldn't even get the police to look into our case until I con I contacted Senator Lee. And it was Senator Lee, who, even though he was a federal   Senator, he contacted the Utah attorney General's office and said, why aren't you helping this family? Why aren't you even looking into it?

Meriwether: [00:21:30] Good for him. 

And they looked into it and said, well, sorry, but the parents aren't cooperating and the abuse wasn't bad enough. We can't help you. And so there was a hole, there was just so many adults that failed. And so as I was working with darkness to light and I was trying to get these clothes that's is out.

I started focusing on. Prosecutors sheriffs judges, people that are impacting children, but they don't have this kind of training. And the longer that I started to do this, I, and as a military spouse, I realized nobody is giving this to military families. Nobody is requiring federal legislation. Nobody is making an impact.

And then two years, or maybe it's been three years now. We saw that associated press story out of Fort Meade, where prosecutors shelled a hundred percent of cases of children, sexual abuse cases at Fort Meade, Maryland, without looking into them, even when somebody confessed. And I thought, how is this happening in the military?

But it is and it's happening and no one was investigating. And I don't think the military for as great as the military is, I obviously, I love the military. My husband's in the military. I worked for the military. What they're not good at is protecting children from sexual abuse or protecting people from sexual assault.

And so I started to focus on how can we get this prevention training into the military community and to military families? So we created my husband and I created operation innocence with that goal is let's get the prevention training to military families. The one thing we haven't been able to make any progress on is getting it mandatory.

We have made note. We have not, it's just one brick wall after another. We want the training to be mandatory for all military members and we're not getting very far with that. But one thing that we started was a directory of military families and spouses getting them officially trained to teach the prevention classes.

And we've been able to get these classes at bases all around the, all around the world because these military families get trained. And they can go teach it at their base. And then a couple of years later, they move and they can teach it to the next space and then they can teach it at their next space.

So we're hoping we're making an impact that way, but it's slow going. Is there, 

is there any, way to. Tell what kind of impact that's having? Is there, has there been any survey of the people who have had the training, the people who have given the training, how frequently it's been given and sort of any ripple effect.

Elizabeth: [00:24:19] So we're mandated to keep track of every, every person that we train, not by name, but by number. So every time we give a training where we give the training and how many people we give that training to, and we give them surveys, they fill that out confidentially and give it to us afterward. And we're required to keep track of that and give it to darkness, to light and they keep track.

And then they do independent studies that they paid for and they can confidently prove. That for every adult that gets trained, we're saving 10 children. That's a lot of children that's a lot. so, so to, and, you know, in order to be able to really access that, you know, we get special training through darkness to light.

So you cannot just go out and give the training. You had to give a background check, you have to go through the training process. And now I've just been approved through darkness to light, to start giving these trainings online virtually because of COVID because what we're seeing that numbers of child sexual abuse are on the rise.

One, because children are home with their abusers, but two, because children are online so much that they're being groomed by online predators. And so now we're going to be able to start giving this training virtually, which means more military bases that we'll have access to, by not having to go in person, but it mean the, the 10 children saved.

So if I look at how many adults I've trained, I think I'm somewhere around a few hundred. Good. So you're 

Meriwether: [00:25:47] thinking about supply then 

Elizabeth: [00:25:49] multiply that by 10. And I mean, that's, you know, that's 3000 children. It's incredible. 

Meriwether: [00:25:55] So I, I think that there, I have a couple of questions. One is darkness to light to marketing.

I had not heard of it before I encountered you. And so I wonder, I mean, operation innocence is. You know, very valued to my audience of course, but certainly they use in any culture in any community is, invaluable. so I wonder if you can talk about what you know about how they distribute their information and how communities can come to know more.

Elizabeth: [00:26:32] Yup. So I found out about it seven or eight years ago through another mom who also is a parent of a survivor. And I actually met her through the Patrick community. So that was just how I got involved. I, I am very, I. Probably see this behind me. I'm very involved in pageantry and I use pageantry to get operation innocence out there to communities.

And every, every time we move, I do as as many interviews and as many things classes as I can in the local community to get them to know that this is even a thing because. I didn't know that it existed until after the fact. And so I do think that there's a need for, but they're a nonprofit, there's a need for more marketing.

And so I think they do the best that they can. They've been working with Allie Rasmuson. She was a USA gymnast that was sexually abused by the doctor. So they do a lot with her. Good. They do a lot with her. They partner with the Elizabeth smart foundation, which being from Utah, I'm very familiar with and I'm in talks with as well with them right now.

So they are partnering up with as many, many people and organizations that have a common goal. What you'll see is they work on a state by state basis trying to change laws, to make it mandatory for coaches, such as a youth soccer leagues. To have to make the training and they got it passed. I think it was in Texas, in Delaware for teachers to take it.

But in Colorado it failed Colorado said we don't want to pay for training. For all of the teachers or the coaches, the youth coaches to take it. But if you look at the statistics, the state of Colorado is paying. I think it was 1.5 or more million dollars a year on services for survivors and people who were sexually abused.

And then in one way or another end up in the system later on before. So, but they didn't want to pay $80,000 a year for prevention training. 

Meriwether: [00:28:35] Now that makes me think of, no, I don't, I don't care about you. Anyone's politics in the, in my, I very much like, One of the benefits of being ahead. Of course, stories is that over time, our stories have been evergreen.

We, stay away from politics. But in this case, I have to say that, although the name is shoehorned into every news story for the good or bad of it just increased traffic Ivanka, Trump has just been able to. she has cemented $35 million to address human trafficking in the U S and again, this is not a political statement.

I'm just talking about her advocacy. And this is a first that anything like that kind of number has been brought to the table regarding trafficking now. It's my thinking. And perhaps I could back it up. If I had the time to do a little research that almost everyone who's trafficked, it started as child sexual abuse.

Elizabeth: [00:29:43] They are very, they go hand in hand. We have evidence on that. 

Meriwether: [00:29:46] Yes. And, so. I am curious if darkness to light and of course operation in a sense could approach the bosses of that effort to say, if we, this is an intervention, what you're describing is an intervention. 

Elizabeth: [00:30:05] Yes. 

Meriwether: [00:30:05] So it would intervene in the cycle of this, this.

Process. This is the trajectory of the child being innocent. The child being encountered the job being violated, and then the, all of the ramifications of that. So if this, between the child's innocence and the child's encounter could be intervened. With a program such as you're describing, I can't imagine the value to society that would have, 

Elizabeth: [00:30:37] right?

Meriwether: [00:30:38] Yeah. 

Elizabeth: [00:30:38] I can tell you that whenever the federal government funds human trafficking. Yes, the prevention of human trafficking, darkness to light applies for, and sometimes does get funding for their prevention training. However, I also know that we're the only one operation innocence that are really only ones that I am aware of that is trying to fight that on a military level, on a federal level.

So darkness to light, which is I'm so grateful to partner with them. And I've talked to them so many times and met with them because they know that they are fighting state by state. Yes. And we're fighting it at the, at the level of the military and the federal government. So they've applied for him, gotten money in order to be able to do that on a state by state basis.

But we haven't been able to make headway on getting military funding because as you know, there's a huge pushback or getting the civilians, getting any civilians. That involved in the military Senator Gillibrand out of New York is, is a big one that has fought for legislation. So that commanders do not get to decide whether or not people get punished for a sexual assault 

Meriwether: [00:31:47] or 

Elizabeth: [00:31:48] punished.

She's never been able to get that through. So there's a huge pushback. The moment you say military, well, it is an uphill battle. 

Meriwether: [00:31:57] There, there is a, there's a challenge there because. You know, our military is very hierarchal and it's successful because it has a hierarchy, power system. and it is very challenging for a boss to have somebody on in their staff ripped out from under them.

without a lot of. And, and input into that, the situation. However, we agree that these bosses, none of them. Our experts on child sex. 

Elizabeth: [00:32:30] They're 

Meriwether: [00:32:30] not, they just, that's not theirs. It's really not their lane. Yes. But I don't, I don't think that it should have to do with that. My position is that, this is a prevention.

This is an intervention. This is not a response to. 

Elizabeth: [00:32:47] This, isn't not political. There's nothing political about child sexual abuse. We know it's bad. We know what needs to stop. 

Meriwether: [00:32:53] Right. But it's, it's, it's just not something that this is a training to prevent a bad event that costs do I recall cost $30 a 

Elizabeth: [00:33:08] participant.

15 in person or a couple 

Meriwether: [00:33:11] 15 a person or, I mean, we're talking can jelly beans 

Elizabeth: [00:33:15] here? Yes. 

Meriwether: [00:33:17] And yep. It, the main thing is it's not, something that has to be assessed on the effectiveness of it because it's an intervention. 

Elizabeth: [00:33:27] Right. And, and that's already been proven. We already have the proof that it's effective.

That it's, evidence-based the military doesn't have to create a nutrient. That's been out there for decades and it's effective. 

Meriwether: [00:33:39] Yeah, that's right. And so that's why I'm saying that selling this, to the military. Community, I think should be simpler. And, the fact, the business about going to, Mo military leadership is a problem.

Certainly bringing it to. all of these players in Congress now because of the once in a hundred years circumstance we're currently in, I think that's a little challenging on the other hand, this, this, victory for child trafficking has had had a priority in all parties. and if. The one thing they keep focusing on is just what you described is that w two critical that this is addressed now because children, children are less safe in this pandemic era, then they were outside of it.

Yeah. 

Elizabeth: [00:34:36] And let me tell you why. I think that this has gained so much traction. Cause I also see it on my, on my social media feeds more than I ever have in the last 10 years. The reason. And first off of anybody can get me a meeting with Ivanka Trump, please. I would love to have a conversation with her and say, how can we, how can we push through the child sexual abuse prevention?

 So, so the, the reason I think that this has gained so much traction and so much conversation is because people look at human trafficking. As stranger danger, somebody is going to steal my child. Somebody from the outside world is going to hurt my child.

And that is what I'm also seeing from parents. People that I have tried for years to get them to take the prevention training, but they, they haven't. And. It's because with human trafficking or with cyber grooming, what we're seeing is parents are going well. That's somebody I don't know. And it's easier to be terrified of a stranger than the truth.

The truth is 93% of the time you're trying, I was going to be sexually abused by somebody. You know, you trust you love you, bring into your home. That's, those are the facts. And that is a very hard conversation to have with people because I wouldn't abuse a child. So I can, and imagine my husband abusing a child or my dad or my uncle or my sister or my grandma, but that is actually who's abusing children.

And so I don't think that adults are comfortable having that conversation about child sexual abuse, because the truth is. It's somebody, we brought into our own homes, right. And that's uncomfortable, but human trafficking that seems like this, this very scary thing where a complete stranger followed you through the grocery store, kidnapped your child, stole them and then sold them into sex trafficking.

That's what people think of when they think of human trafficking. Even though that's much more rare than what than how human trafficking actually starts, but that's how they think of it. Well, 

Meriwether: [00:36:38] I am not an expert on, on human trafficking, but I am familiar with the number of children who run away from home.

And, this is roomed 

Elizabeth: [00:36:50] by someone they trusted. 

Meriwether: [00:36:52] Right. But they they're, they're leaving us situation. They think they're leaving a situation that is bad. And then they're, then they're prayed upon mercilessly and they're helpless at that point. They have no food or shelter. They have no income and being minors.

They have no agency. So this, this is, I think often where the, the, the, the worst of the trouble begins. but the child is leaving something. 

Elizabeth: [00:37:21] I want to say it was a lot of human trafficking is foster children. Yeah. Children already in a bad situation, leaving that bad situation, not knowing that the next situation is, is possibly worse.

Right. So unfair. So that the sad part is a lot of children that are trafficked are foster children runaways. you know, people groomed by somebody that they thought was going to protect them and save them and turned out to be a monster. 

Meriwether: [00:37:48] And I want to also value the, the, fact that you are using, your lovely beauty that God gave you and that you work hard to maintain too. I mean, everyone, everyone in, and I mean the pageant business, I mean, if I, if I have to spend. More than about 25 minutes on a beauty routine every day, it's not going to happen.

I'm not going to be beautiful. But what I'm saying is I value that you're using it as a platform to get this story out, to either using it as a platform to get. Attention to this matter. And, and that's exactly what we're, we're all need to exploit whatever gifts we have for the wellbeing of those we're called to help.

So I, I love this, but I also love the little love story of this Marine. And I w I want you to tell the listeners a little bit about where he came in on the timeline, because I think 

Elizabeth: [00:38:53] that 

Meriwether: [00:38:54] that is very powerful because sadly, I think Marines have had a bad rap. Over time as not being those who could embrace a difficult emotional situation, not be able to embrace a difficult family situation, not be able to conquer, these.

Horrific crimes happening in a family from an emotional standpoint. And your story is a great example of how false that narrative. 

Elizabeth: [00:39:33] Yep. It definitely is. I met my husband when I was right in the middle of or action toward the beginning of this battle. I was, I'd already found out about my son. I had started the fight.

I sold everything, basically everything that I owned, anything extra that I owned other than the one. And car that I needed, you know, in order to get to work, sold everything, to be able to pay for lawyers, to be able to fight this fight and to protect my son and keep him safe. And I was working as a news anchor at this TV station in Idaho.

So I wasn't making very much money. Journalists don't make very much money. All journalists know that I was not making very much. I was raising two kids. I was a single mom with no child support and. I had to do or was doing, I got the option to, or opportunity to do a story about a female Marine. She was the first Marine to pass this a particularly difficult course that at the time women weren't even allowed to be part of, but it was a trial run to see how it went.

And she was the first to pass it. And she was from our area in Idaho. I started, Oh, Sheetz. She's been nominal. Right? Absolutely phenomenal Marine. And I got the opportunity to do this story about her. And so I started joining these Marine Corps recruiting groups and trying to find phone numbers to figure out who was her recruiter.

Does he have her phone number? How can they get in touch with her? And I was bypassing the public affairs officer because I had to get the stories on deadline. I had, I mean, it was, you know, it was, I was the morning and noon news anchor. And it was in between my two shows and I was trying to get this out very quickly.

So I was trying to get ahold of this recruiter and I finally get ahold of him because, you know, they've put their cell phone numbers in those recruiting groups. Yeah. And he says, you have to call our pubic affairs. Yes. You have to, you can't go around and you cannot. And that's okay. They call them in the Marine Corps, but you know, For everyone else.

I think it's calm stress now, but is it, you have to call commstrat out of salt Lake city and you have to speak with at the time staff, Sergeant Warren peace. And I said that that's not his name.

Oh, my gosh, I got this. I thought this recruiting Marine was pulling my leg, making a mockery of the story I was trying to do. And I just was kind of offended. I said, no, what's his real name? He said, no, man. It's it's Warren peace. Here's his phone number? Call him. So I call staff, Sergeant Warren peace and being, being a former airmen.

I kept one. I kept calling him Sergeant.

in the air force. You can do that. So I kept calling him Sergeant peace and he says, ma'am it's staff Sergeant. 

now. Yep. Yep. So one thing I noticed was, you know, what journalists do whenever they're on the phone with somebody is they immediately start to Google. And so I'm tapping away at my keyboard trying to find the staff, Sergeant Warren piece and trying to know what, you know, what do I need to know about him?

What can I use to get this person? They'll do the story. And he was pushing back and I hear this tap, tap, tap, tap, tap on the other line. And I said, are you Googling me staff Sergeant? And he was, of course, as of here we are, we're like Googling each other. And anyway, so, you know, long story short. he told me, no, I couldn't have the story.

And I don't like to be told no, I turned the no into a yes, no journalist likes to be told they can't have it. The story. So I did get the story and then he decided he was going to come to the TV station in Idaho, which was three hours away. And he was going to, to meet the, he says he was coming to meet.

The news team, because that was his area. And he felt like we needed a better relationship because he didn't know who we were and we went to lunch and then we went to dinner and then he started asking, 

Meriwether: [00:43:30] think about strategic communications, 

Elizabeth: [00:43:32] right? Oh, actually, well, that story in a while, I have to tell you, I found out yeah.

Much much later. Gosh, I wish he was like nearby. I could yell at him and ask him what it was called because much, much later, several months later, I said, you know, what was your plan with all of that? And he, he used a Marine Corps acronym. But he actually, you know, detailed out in his mind and it was a strategic communication plan.

okay. Assess the situation, you know, and he went through the entire acronym for me and told me every plan he had of how he was going to get me to agree to go out with him because I told him, yeah, no, it 

Meriwether: [00:44:11] was it BAMCIS? 

Elizabeth: [00:44:12] That's probably what it was. Yes. Thank you. I think 

Meriwether: [00:44:16] to end strategic plan to accomplish me.

Yes. 

Elizabeth: [00:44:19] That is exactly what it was. And he had it all laid out because when he, because I was willing to go to lunch with him as a news anchor to get to know him, Yeah, but when he asked me out, I said, no, I said, look, I have a lot going on and you don't want to be in the middle of this mess. You do not. I mean, I am in a huge battle with my ex husband.

I am trying to save my son. I just have, I have so much going on. I can't. And my thought process at that time was not so much. I can't deal with you. It was. You don't want to deal with this. This is a mess and it's a lot to take on for anyone, but especially a man who'd never been married and had no children.

So I told him no, and we were friends for several, several months. And then finally one day he said, okay, so you're, you're serious. Like we're, you're not going to date. And I said, I'm not dating. No. But I would love to be your friend. And when I changed my mind and I decided to start dating, I will let you know.

And he says, okay, well, I'm going to go on a date. I didn't like that.

Meriwether: [00:45:21] You have these feelings, you know, that 

Elizabeth: [00:45:24] I didn't realize that I had Finley's, but I mean, here we'd been friends talked almost every day for months. And I kept telling him no. And then he went out on a date with another girl. And as soon as he got back from the date, he called me and I said, so tell me about it.

He said, well, it ended early. And I said, why? And he said, because I'm sitting here at dinner traits. Yeah. And you know what he's, he is the most blunt person. Good and bad because he says I was on a date and she kept asking me, what are you thinking about. Because he goes, I was obviously very distracted and he said, I told her the truth that I was thinking about this person in Idaho.

And she was obviously, I said, Oh no, no, in the room and wants to hear that. And he said, no, she ended the date, but he came back and he told me that. And once he told me that story, and of course I realized I really didn't like him dating. That was when we decided that we were going to start dating. And then we got married about seven months later.

And man, I was about seven 

Meriwether: [00:46:24] years ago. I love it. I live for that. I do, I live for these stories where, you know, Marines prove that the stereotype of their comfort zone. It's just that it's not reality. And they are just as brave, emotionally as they are physically and militarily. So, 

Elizabeth: [00:46:46] you know, and. And not only is it hard today, the single mom, and to take on two kids.

Right. But to take on two boys, Where the oldest is like, no, I'm the man of the house. Right? You said, you've got, you've got one boy. Who's like, no, you're in my territory. Then the other boy has just been through something very tremendous and traumatic. And my youngest just absolutely adored his father.

Absolutely good for all the good and bad that he was. My youngest thought that he walked on water and then to go through all the things that he went through. You know, for my husband to walk into this situation and it's hard enough just to be a step parent, but to be a step parent now, with everything that my children have been through.

I mean, talk about it. It's still, to this day, it was my mind, how he has learned how to navigate raising boys, then raising them through, through puberty and being teenagers. And now one is 20 and then, you know, the other one is a teenager and. really, truly my youngest is like just the little mini version of my husband.

It's so crazy. They are so much alike, which I didn't, I didn't quite realize when we got married, how I like my child and my husband are, but they really are. And to just take all that on. 

Meriwether: [00:48:06] I know, but, and, and that's, that's another reason I love your story. I really love it because you know, the Marine Corps.

I will say to you, and I, I suspect if your husband were there, who would agree that the Marine Corps, this is what Marines live for. You know, they live for the next generation of the Marine Corps and they, they want. To pass on their knowledge. Now, when someone comes to bootcamp, when someone comes to earn that title in those three months, that they're at bootcamper OCS, 

Elizabeth: [00:48:44] it's pretty rare when 

Meriwether: [00:48:46] they're the ideal candidate.

Most of the time they're looking. For discipline, they're looking for order. They're looking for leadership. They're looking for consistency. 

Elizabeth: [00:48:58] They're 

Meriwether: [00:48:58] looking for training. And so most Marines leaders by the time he's a gunnery Sergeant EVs and especially that don't meat don't. so when he hears this other one to say, I was a staff Sergeant, when I walked into this marijuana, That by the time he's that far along, you know, that that's, you know, of noncommissioned officers, that's a, that's a power player.

Right. and by the time they have encountered so much in the way of bringing Marines along that this I would imagine would be great background for stepping into a situation with two boys who. I have been through an awful lot and need a lot of leadership and guidance and love. And when I there's a photo that went around in the war, that was, of these Marines on this last train before they finished there.

And it's more than two days of, of. Staying up all night. and in one shot, they went crazy. During the end of the war was this Marine was struggling. This recruit was struggling and in his face are these drill instructors in the darks, screaming at them. And they're all covered in all kinds of mess.

But what I saw in their eyes was love. They were trying very hard to get through to this Marine that this is the stress you're going to be under. You're safe here, but we're trying to make it so stressful that when you encounter stress on the battlefield, it's familiar to you and you can handle it. And so there is a tremendous amount of love in these leadership efforts of.

Marines for younger Marines. So I say that your husband came into this with skills that many people, many men would not have. And perhaps that's why he's been successful and, and very devoted to it, aside from the fact that he obviously fell in love with you 

Elizabeth: [00:50:57] from the very beginning, you know, and it is obvious to see that he uses a lot of that and he uses it with patients because he does talk about, you know, I want to make sure that we're raising.

Children that will then become men that have a good impact on the world. You know, that we're raising men so that they work hard, that they have a work ethic that they take accountability. And he talks about that quite a bit, that we're not just, we're not raising kids. We're, we're raising men and he talks about that quite a bit.

Meriwether: [00:51:32] I love it. I love it. So. I really would like to stay in touch with you and reconvene another time and do another podcast, maybe six months down the road, because I, I feel certain that this may be a pivotal time for your organization, but also for the subject that as. As terrible as this pandemic has been, it has revealed the children do have needs.

They're not being met in this pandemic that have to do with abuse and that all of the mandated reporting that they have had the benefit of by attending school, they don't have right now or haven't had in law school romance. So, in my way of thinking. This is a wonderful opportunity to tell the story of darkness, to light and operation innocence.

And of course, the fact that it has a Marine Corps angle is, is wonderful to me. So I just, I'm just so grateful to you for coming on the podcast and telling the story, but I'm really grateful. And I think I can speak for my board of directors. that Marines are grateful. that there's something there's something out there.

And, I would, I would like to stay in touch and see what happens is you tried to find a way to get this, to be at least known by the most powerful people in our government concerned about the wellbeing of children. 

Elizabeth: [00:53:10] And, and you're right. We're, we're lucky that we are in a time right now, where people are listening and we do have politics aside.

We do have people at the highest levels that care about children and are fighting for children in ways that I haven't seen a big push for, always in the past. So it's, it's a great opportunity to say. Let's let's move forward together and let's, let's find these solutions or at least we know what some of the solutions are.

Let's make them happen. 

Meriwether: [00:53:41] Yeah. Okay. Wonderful. Elizabeth peace. It has been wonderful. Now listen, where can we find I'm going to link in ...the I'm going to link of course, in the description. but where can we find, your site darkness, the light site. Yep. 

Elizabeth: [00:53:56] So operation innocence, it's just operation innocence.org.

There's also an operation instance on Facebook. Not to be confused with another project that I discovered about a year after I started operation innocence. Somebody else started one that's about, you know, protecting children from gun violence. That's separate mine is, you know, preventing child sexual abuse in the military, but operation instance.org is also Instagram and Facebook.

And the darkness to light is D. Two L the number two D two l.org. They're also all over social media and their websites. Website's not mobile, but if you go to operations, in a sense, I linked to darkness to light on our website. 

Meriwether: [00:54:35] Beautiful. And I understand that folks can donate the cost of a training 

Elizabeth: [00:54:41] through your school.

Is that right? Correct. And the trainings, if they donate the $15, we reserve that for military families. So even though we were willing to train anyone and everyone, we reserved the donations for military families, specifically. 

Meriwether: [00:54:56] Beautiful, beautiful. That's lovely. Elizabeth has been wonderful. 

Elizabeth: [00:55:00] Thanks for having me.

I, I appreciate it. And it was fun to get to talk to you. 

Meriwether: [00:55:05] It's really fun to get to know you better. And also, with respect to your pageant stuff. Yeah, it was what, the, what the tie, any events coming up soon we can support. 

Elizabeth: [00:55:14] Yes. Well in December. So I'm competing for mrs. California in December and, I'm super excited.

The reason I'm really excited is because there's an, I've been in pageant since I was 36. So about four years now, I'm pretty, still new to pageants. Didn't do it as a kid. Kind of learning my way through it have had some successes in the last couple of years, but there is a new system that just started about two years ago called United States of America.

And we call it us. Oh, okay. This is the one I'm competing for. The reason I just recently moved to this system is because the last two national Queens of military spouses. And I will tell you, in my pageant history, I have had some people in some judges say, I don't think women should serve in the military.

I don't think that you should be mrs. So and so because your husband's military and if he goes to war, we don't think you'd be a very effective queen. I mean, I have heard some pretty biased, not right. Like non-military supportive comments and I just. I was, I was offended by it and I knew that pageantry was more than that.

And I knew that I could use a title for good. And so I moved over to the U S of a system because they saw that they truly, truly support the military. And so I'm competing for USFA misses, California and December. And if I win California, then I will move on to nationals in March in Las Vegas. 

Meriwether: [00:56:42] Wow. I keep 

Elizabeth: [00:56:43] excited.

I am very excited. 

Meriwether: [00:56:45] Yeah. Well, I'm going to link to all that too. Yes, of course. Alright. Well, Elizabeth, thank you so much. And we'll go chat again. This has been a lot of fun and we'll chat again. 

Elizabeth: [00:56:55] Thank you. 

  Do we love her. Do we love them? One of the best things about this story to me is the opportunity to reveal a beautiful Marine Corps love story, which I think are especially inspiring, especially in today's world, the way they came together, the things that they have overcome together and started together.

Is actually far more common than uncommon and it reveals a side facet to Marines and their hearts that I rarely get to reveal. So thank you so much for sticking with us and please hit subscribe and we'll catch you the next time. Semper Fidelis.